Standing Still is Better Than Running To No Where

Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries ©

Life has a way of slowing us down, humbling us. Through unemployment, illness, lost, lack, misunderstandings, and ill-will, we are halted. Day Two of 7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation! focuses on building momentum where you stand not where you are running. Finding your way, the true north, is at the point of ponder (View I Dare You to Dance video below).

After admitting past mistakes and resolving the issues that hindered you and held you in a false sense of progression, as a forgiven empty vessel, moving is the next step, yet movement must be intentional- forward progress. The word progress is provocative. Progress provides an image of an exciting image of success and notoriety. Moving forward is liberating, however, running without knowing where you're going, without godly perspective and honest reflection, is moving in the wrong direction... laterally or backward, is a purposeless path to nowhere.

Don't be in a hurry to go where your designed destiny is not waiting. Destiny is a place for the head, heart, and hands to lead you to. Your place of despair is one stop on your path to destiny. When you’re still, you can see the opportunities within obstacles. After the halt from life, the struggles, heartbreaks, disappointments, and betrayal, your broken heart can mend your mind to move your hands with purpose and in peace.  After facing the past, then turning to your future, you must accept yourself as a unique, worthy, insightful, and beautiful spirit. You maybe scarred; nevertheless,you are capable living a life of dignity and autonomy, a fulfilled life. And you deserve too.

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” - George Bernard Shaw, 1925 Nobel Prize for Literature

Planning and preparing for the future that you desire are wise methods to implement after you have determined your life's goals. On the other hand, the perspective George Shaw shares, and the one I will take the liberty to expand upon, challenges you not to prescribe to just the "American Dream" formula, but to develop your own life’s strategies based on your unique skills, gifts, and talents; Standing still allows you to discover these endowed treasures. Stop looking at what everyone is doing in the world; look at what you can do in the world. Answer these questions: 
What would you do if you couldn't fail? 
What do you enjoy doing and  have been doing it for free? 
Do people always ask you to do a certain favor because they say you can do it the best? 
What dream do you have that others have declared impossible? 
Reasonable men often get in their own way to their designed destinies because they are intimating the destinies of others to achieve success. Alone or with many like-minded people, standing still in quiet confidence is always better than running aimlessly. Stand in your dream until you are prepared to move forward; the dream may be deferred but it’s not denied. The following Tips from Testimony are personal mantras you may use while standing still.

Tips from Testimony:   

1. Silence the critics, starting with the critic within.

2. Discover your purpose.  

3. Unlearn and re-learn.   

4. Pursue your passion and profit will pursue you.           

5. Don't be afraid to go alone.

6. God rewards the diligent.

7. Failure is a lesson learned to help you in your future.

Make The Shift Movement VBlog: CLICK TO WATCH!> I Dare You To Dance!

-----> Have you benefited from this blog? Please show your support by making a donation. Donate at the level of value added to your life by clicking the drop down menu, then click the PAY NOW button. If you are interested in creating your model of victory, or personal coaching, kindly contact me. Thank you.

From presentation "7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation!" ©  

T. Nichole Faulkner Paradigm Coaching and Consulting ™ 336.508.6416 voicemail 

Make The Shift Movement VBlog: I Dare You to Dance!

Face It, Then Turn!

Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries ©

Abraham Maslow, American psychologist best known for his theory of the hierarchy of needs, said it best when he concluded that one must make the decision to move ahead in courage or move backward by choosing what "feels" safe. Remaining silent, not making a choice, or staying in a comfortable place isn't in itself a bad decision; however, growth require change and change is perceived as painful. One rather stay in a place of acceptance, esteem, and prosperity because that place is deemed safe. Yet, safe is relative.  Remaining in a place to avoid challenges, dedication, and, sometimes, rejection is a place of false comfort, for most people. But what's hidden in the disclaimer, sadly, is this: 

What you hold in your hand, is all you will ever have, and it's usually not enough. (Watch Cultivate The Fruit video below) 

If you believe having a house, car, and job is your ideal of a transformed life, well, the lessons learned listed as Tips from Testimony aren't for you. One can easily obtain those things...just work hard and save. Yet, if you are ready to face it and then turn to greater...read on.

Day one of 7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation! contends with the popular notion of "If it isn't broken, don't fix it". Why? Because brokenness hurts. Yet, transformation can heal all wounds. So I assert,  If it isn't broken, its full value has not been revealed!  
Most people just want the pain to go away; even if the relief is only temporary. The result is a unfulfilled life, wasted potential. One must face it, the mirror, then turn away from the personal boundaries that have held one in a place of safety but discounts one to average, or mediocre.  What's fascinating about facing it is one will actually turn his or her back to the future possibilities, a scary thought, but only for a moment. You see, you must face yourself and your past, first, which hold your enemies, real or perceived, your shame and fears. And in facing backward, safety is not near. You will be alone, facing every battle within. At that moment, you believe there is no fun, no fortune, and no future in facing it; one believes it's not worth the battle. Nevertheless, you can not move forward until you face the past. Announcement:  The past can not hurt you anymore, it already has. Now, face it so you can move into your future. The future design only for you.

Now, what is "facing it"? This complex entity -"it": anything and anyone you allow to build boundaries from becoming your best self, the abundant life, a life of authenticity, peace and contentment. The wrong decisions, the wrong mate, the wrong belief have kept you from learning new things, meeting new people, and going to new places. You know when your life is not transformed nor fulfilled but you rather "feel" safe than take the risks to be free, to be you, to even fail. See, failure is not final. Failure is apart of the process for success.  A life that reeks of overcompensation of material things and random people usually mask the lack of grace, godliness and glory. God has given us the power to become and have all we desire, but good choices and self discipline deliver the rewards.Regardless of where you live, what you wear, and who you marry, everyone must face failures and disappointments to turn around... to turn to safety or turn to transformation. The choice is yours. Choose transformation.

Transformation isn't a easy process. Admitting that YOU are the constant in every situation that didn't turn out as planned is a hard pill to shallow, not admitting that keeps you safe, but stale and stagnant. Face your failures, then turn away; now with your back shielding you from the past, then turn to your future, walk into your transformation...your greater, one day at a time.
Following are 10 Tips from Testimony to use as reminders as you face your "it".

Tips from Testimony:    

1. Admit mistakes then submit your past to the past. 

2. Stop lying, God can only transform the truth.

3. Don't undervalue your time and talent.     
4. Walk alone before walking with mediocrity. 
5. Celebrate your uniqueness.             
6. Your talent is a gift to those in need.
7. Shame is a real enemy.             
8. Perfection is faculty logic.
9. Freedom is found in brokenness.      
10.A broke pocket doesn't constitute a broken character.

Make The Shift Movement VBlog: CLICK TO WATCH!> Cultivate The Fruits

-----> Have you benefited from Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries ©? Will you please show your support today by making a donation to sow into my dream? Donate at the level of value added to your life. Click the PAY NOW button. If you are interested in creating your model of victory, contact me. Thank you. 336.508.6416 voicemail 

From presentation "7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation!" ©  
T. Nichole Faulkner Paradigm Coaching and Consulting ™

Make The Shift Movement: Cultivate the Fruits

Turn 2011 Speed Bumps Into 2012 Launch Pads

Each day is sacred because valuable life lessons unfold in each day, even days that seem to have been bad or useless due to misfortune.

Life has a way slowing us down. Through unemployment, illness, theft, denial, disappointments, even death of loved ones, we are halted. Even in a stopped place, the time spent within that place can be valuable and life changing....sacred.

Slow down periods are chances for us to reflect with hindsight vision, plan, prepare, and try it again. We can turn 2011 speed bumps into 2012 launch pads!

Finding our purpose, our way, creates momentum. But when the way we are going is wrong, life will respond with road blocks. Most people receive these hindrances as denials of the things we hope for and working towards. Remembering that each day is sacred will change the way we receive and use negative happenings in our lives. Appreciate the fact that moving forward always does not mean you are moving toward your destiny, your purpose. 

So slow progress is better than fruitless promotion.

Do not be in such a hurry to a barren future, aimlessly seeking fortune but not DOING THE HARD AND HONEST REFLECTING that navigates us to our designed future, one of peace and prosperity.2012 IS THE YEAR OF PURPOSE.

Yet destiny is found only in the depths of ones heart. An examined heart.

After the halt from struggles, heartbreak, and lack...mend your mind and heart through receiving the speed bumps as a divine GPS...Gods positioning system.

When you stand in peace, for a while, you can move in purpose.

Accept that you are a human being worthy to reach your greatest potential and in that same spirit and focus, a beautiful life emerges with many sacred days, which include roadblocks and launching pads. After failure, a reflective and grateful heart, stops, yet it still stands, then moves forward with clarity, determination, and purpose.

Oppressed or Impoverished

The debate is not new- is poverty a choice? As absurd that may sound to some, to others it is a thought that is spoken in some circles. That thought is, if you are poor, especially in the 21st century, its because you choose to be. Of course, the argument isn't that straightforward in reasoning, and the debate has many valid points on both sides. In short, poverty is being without needed resources. So for those who believe one chooses poverty, the answer is frankly- get an educated or skill and get a job or make a living. On the other hand, those who believe that relieving poverty is more than securing resources, the solution is much more complex.
Oppression sometimes is a word left out of the poverty conversation. Yes, oppression is considered when speaking of developing countries or cities with a recent history of struggling economies from lost of major companies or key goods or services to maintain a competitive and attractive city for business. Yet, I contend that oppression is one of the main causes of poverty. Quickly, allow me to assert the obvious, a lack of jobs, poor money management or financial illiteracy, and no skills or education are major factors that most can agreed on within the poverty debate. Yet, oppression is at the core of this social dilemma. My position is derived from a few questions: 1. If a person is in second or third generation of poverty, faced with racist stereotypes, living in subsidized housing and receiving public health and food benefits, is he or she keenly knowledgeable of the route out of this situation? 2. If no one in a family has finished high school or college and has chronic unemployment gaps, development disabilities, has experienced employment discrimination and homelessness, is the solution clean cut? 3. If the words assets, 401k, interest rates and balanced budget have never crossed the conversations held in the home, can on understand building wealth? And finally, four  words: Substance, or emotional, or sexual or physical abuse? All of these unfortunate situations can cultivate a "spirit of oppression" even if external influences did not actually perpetrate (discrimination, inequality, etc) the oppression.
I am not presenting anything new here. Those who consider the poor among us think that the solution may not be simple but is possible to solve if the one living in poverty will have a little bit more encouragement, training, and sheer will. In addition, the religious sector would add repentance and faith to the equation. I say, faith and sheer will is what gets most people who are impoverished through the day. And many people, in their circles have been given a hand, shoulder and many positive words. And training, well, do you know what one must do to receive housing, public assistance and health care? Well, first, have a child and to be unmarried. Only if a greater effort for a solution to send people to community college than to the next line where you can sign up for a free turkey at Thanksgiving.

Oppression zaps hope as quick as you can turn a light switch off. The sneers, the racist slurs, the abuse at the hand of your neighbor, the exposure to community neglect and violence, the obvious class war being the despised people in a certain zip code. All of these negative energy drives can pierce through and stop the laughter of a child and the dreams of an adult. Oppression begins to live in someone once the fabric of society covers the poor with shame. Then the opportunities seem to be designed for an elite group, and healthy foods appear in particular grocery chains that are too expensive, and quality books and technology show up in certain schools and college libraries; clean parks and family events are across town and church and business leaders are uncomfortable coming to your house for frozen dinners or to pick you up for Sunday service or for work or for parenting class. Oppression knocks loudly at the door of those main society ignores or are even embarrassed by. And, more boldly, oppression reeks from hearts and minds of those who we despise and talk about when we think we have "made it".
Some may think, impoverished and oppressed are the same. The difference is this: Give an impoverished person a job, he or she will eventually live a decent life. Give an oppressed person a job, he or she will battle with self to keep it. The mind will tell her you will never make it. The heart will tell him, you are not worthy.We must do more than give jobs, much more. And the solutions are complex and varied. But any one solution must begin with a compassionate heart, a servant attitude, and the belief that no one, not one human being, wakes up every day wanting to live in poverty.

Preparing for significance

Notes for Chapter One)


Maya Angelou quoted, "Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it."  And throughout many spiritual, self-development, counseling, and teacher circles the same mantra is usually spoken. Furthermore, I have heard and said the following: If you believe it you shall receive it or if you speak it, you will see it; or seek and it will be found. Positive, powerful, and encouraging words, right? Those statements is not the issue I have pondered. I agree, a cheerful heart does the body and mind good. On the other hand, it's the "between point" I wrestle with. There is a place between unbelief and belief, thinking and speaking, and  seeking and finding. That "place" few pundits, pastors, preachers, teachers, coaches and counselors prepare to provide a solution for. This place, position, or state is what most people call the "gray area", when things in life are not clear, difficult, and confusing. I have had my share of gray areas and stood in the between place many times, shocked, dazed and confused or sad, mad, and defeated. That is why I am pushed to reflect a little deeper into this feeling of awkwardness of life. And I have a resolution, an insight, a possible explanation for it-- preparation. Preparation for significance.


Have you jumped in water, in a pool or ocean on a scorching hot summer day with expectation of cool relief? You emerge in the water, and as you go deeper the cooler the water feels. A quietness is all around you, peaceful, then you need air and a sense of urgency rush over you. You swim up, quickly; you see the sun's brightness the closer you get to the top, and finally you reach up to push that last time to reach the surface and gasp for air. This illustration gives you a picture of the preparation for significance.

Life can become hectic with pressures and perplexity. Relief is all we want. Answers are all we need. So we jump in aimlessly; go to whatever and whomever to get help and solutions to our problems. Temporarily, the advice and support is the relief, the thought of someone understanding and helping to meet a need is the peace we seek. Yet, without a permanent solution, the problem will lurk again and we will rush to relief...for another answer, help, a little air. Life can have a dunking effect, ups and downs, only if we choose to resolve problems with temporary solutions and always depending on others for the answers. Instead look within. Deeply within.


The path to significance is stretching yet glorifying.I discovered that problems are merely exercises to gain knowledge, wisdom, understanding and contentment. Yes, a permanent solution to heated and hated problems is contentment: the realization, on earth, we will walk a thin line between meaningless and significance. In order to learn, we must lose. In order to succeed, we must fail. To navigate through what seem to be suffocating problems, we must rest and not resist....breathe. And in that deep, cool and quiet place, a place of peace above understanding, is where significance resides. Preparation for significance comes when you toil with tears of submission, with encouraging speech, love, and faith. Trusting the process. Significance comes closer each day when you choose to dive into the deep, with quiet confidence, learning, not running from the lessons, welcoming ascension. Living higher than the problems, greater than yourself.

  

Just a quick thought: Moving more than things

I am in the process of looking for another place to stay. The move is unwelcome yet needed. And like with most change, there is discomfort. Not only is packing and moving is physical labor, it involves mental work. You see, sometimes moves are by force, not by choice. And as I am forced to move and to change and to labor through the process, it all reminds me of people and the impact the process of moving has on our mind and body.
Change is challenging but inevitable. The only thing constant is change. So if we know change is coming why is it always difficult to process when it arrives?
My first thought is the comfort of the "knowing" is much pleasant than facing the unknown. We are creatures of habit; we like the eat the same foods, go to the same places, hang with the same people, and work and live at the same places. Furthermore, for most part, its the same with our minds, we think the same thoughts, believe the same facts, have the same opinions and feel the same way.All this familiarity is healthy in our developing years, security and safety is important throughout our lifetime, but I will assert that when we become "adults", staying the same is unhealthy, unnatural, and even dangerous to our growth. You see, what doesn't grow, eventually dies. Moving our minds and bodies are essential to our growth, our becoming greater and purposeful.
As I look for a place, plan the transition, spend money on transfers, use time and energy to pack up personal items, and throw away some things, and give other things away; I realize that moving more than things is another way of life. If we want to attain a goal, get married, lose weight, buy a home, graduate from college, raise children, own a company, travel to another country, or whatever the action may be, there is a moving process; a learning; a leaving, giving up or giving in. Change is at the core of moving from one person, place, or thing to another. The moving process will be discomforting and maybe even frightening, but new things, greater things are possible with moves, with changes. Giving up old useless habits, negative people, unhealthy foods, defeating thoughts, cluttering items or thoughts make room for a the launching of the next level of life.

Leadership in the wilderness | Faith & Leadership

Leadership in the wilderness | Faith & Leadership
Favorite paragraph:
"Olson explains that the manna story is not about what they were eating but rather about “God’s trustworthy generosity, the need for equity in the distribution of resources related to basic human needs such as food, and reassurance in the face of common human urges to hoard out of fear and anxiety for the future.”
The manna principle of leadership recognizes that even in times of wilderness and chaos, “the sabbath economy of manna, grace, gift, equality, and trust will have the final say over the economy of Egypt and the Pharaohs of the world,” Olson writes.
And I’m guessing many faculty and staff of today’s colleges think of others as the agents of manna leadership, especially looking to their presidents, vice presidents and trustees.
But in the broadest and most important sense -- and especially in faith-based institutions -- all are called to be manna leaders. The journey to a new place is a shared responsibility, a collective project that derives its authority from a cooperative attachment to mutually defined commitments, values, and smart visions and strategies.
One person cannot do it all when in the wilderness. There are too many moving parts when trying to find solutions to complex problems."

A Manna Leader: WOW! Being a leader who cultivates an environment of peace, planning, and prodding to get to the promise and prosperity!

Social Construct Gone Bad- A response to Thandie Newton's speech

"...The thing that was a source of shame was actually a source of enlightenment. And when I realized and really understood that my self is a projection and that it has a function, a funny thing happened. I stopped giving it so much authority. I give it its due. I take it to therapy. I've become very familiar with its dysfunctional behavior. But I'm not ashamed of myself. In fact, I respect my self and its function. And over time and with practice, I've tried to live more and more from my essence. And if you can do that, incredible things happen. “-Thandie Newton: Embracing otherness, embracing myself

A few people in my life have described me as pro Black, an Angela Davis type, you know, Afrocentric. And for some, actually that is a bad thing and for others it’s a pride thing. But for me, it's reality. I am a Black American, and no one will let me forget it.

Race is a social construct. It was created to help identify and classify people. A technicality gone bad. Now many people profit from race or as some call the race card. Black movies, Black music, Black restaurants, Black malls, Black schools, Black churches, you get where I am going. In some twisted way, race is sometimes used as being unique, special, and a style... different. Now, it's labeled as acting Black or having swag. Although being Black is called a different name each decade, it’s the same to most, being non-White.

Blacks, which include Africans and West Indies, and Latinos, have race classes; you have to check specifically who you are, African American/Black, unlike Asians or Europeans, they are classed and socially considered White Americans. There are different arguments as to why this is and some simply say it’s only for the census- public records. I understand its more consequences to a classification because I have experienced the difference being Black can make.

So if race is only a social construct, and culture and nationality are true identifiers of persons, why study and debate civil rights, especially for minorities (yet another label), specifically Black Americans? Understanding oneself, and the oneness we have with the world is a higher level of consciousness. A concept not easily attained in such a race laden world. I am not applying enlightenment is only attainable for an elite few, yet it is difficult to grasp. Once you give up your race, or gender, or cla$$, school affiliation and religious denomination... then, who are you? Self-discovery can be a painful process. Peeling back layers takes emotional and intelligence maturity and sheer will. And if one has an epiphany, because seeing oneself as authentic and not as a stereotype is true revelation, others may not understand and disconnect because they can’t see their image in you.

Thandie Newton has caught my eye and ear lately. I can relate to her process of self-discovery, her conflict with self and being "other". I don't know if the world will ever make it an easy process. Polarizing race is profitable. The love of money is warring with the love of oneness, connection, human and social capital. Nevertheless, it's divine to live free and true, as one. And it’s a journey worth taking, even with Black being my que card.

Thandie Newton: Embracing otherness, embracing myself | Video on TED.com

Thandie Newton: Embracing otherness, embracing myself | Video on TED.com


So here's a note to self: The cracks have started to show in our constructed world, and oceans will continue to surge through the cracks, and oil and blood, rivers of it.