Monday, December 16, 2013

Live Your Paradigm! ™: Brilliance While Broken

Transformation costs, yet transcending defeat is worth it. We hear these dynamic words- transition, transformation, and transcending, and envision a place untouched or unreached by most. I concur, by definition these words seem like an improbable condition or maybe even lofty in nature. One transforming is to make a complete change and transcending is to go beyond something in quality or achievement. And the transition between the two is often defined as a glorious experience. The statements would lead you to believe this process is unique. On the other hand, we experience these extraordinary moments at some point in our ordinary lives, honestly, quite often. I am sure you have changed your mind about a person or place or experience. I will bet on you going above the call of duty at least one time at work, or a home or within the community? Sure you have! Unfortunately, in addition, you have experienced pain, lost, or heartbreak; most people have. Nonetheless, we equate transforming and transcending to a position for the royal, righteous and perfect ones. Well, this is a call to action for those who will not call being beaten, battled, wounded, or broken as a moment of transformation and transcending. The fact you are reading this is proof you are transcending; 42 million people in the US are illiterate. If you are of color, the fact you have access to this blog is a transformation; Blacks and Latinos are substantially less likely to have a computer at home than are whites. Consider for a moment if each failure and rejection is the process of transition, and if each obstacle or challenge was revered as a complete change and achievement, as a moment of “transformative transcending”. Then, would you believe you are closer to a new, more wonderful YOU? A glorious experience? Again, I serve notice that you, yes you, can experience opportunities of brilliance while broken.

“We must know nothing before we learn something: be empty before we can be filled. It is not the emptiness of the bowl which makes it useful?”

Transitioning through the process of transformation and transcending can be unpredictable, c'est la vie, and that’s life. To go further…higher, one must become vulnerable…empty before being filled; endure the changes, like the seasons- one day warm, the next day, cold. Becoming broken is a part of the process. We win, we lose. So why do we despise pain so much? Because it hurts. But wounds heal. The seed doesn’t yield a harvest until its breaks. The caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly until it changes. Stop undervaluing your broken experiences.

Recently, I learned of a Japanese tradition of repairing pots with gold; it’s called “kintsugi” or “kintsukuroi”. “The term “kintsugi” means ‘golden joinery’ in Japanese and refers to the art of fixing broken ceramics with a lacquer resin made to look like solid gold” (often actually using genuine gold powder in the resin). Chances are, a vessel fixed by kintsugi will look more gorgeous, and more precious, than before it was fractured.” This knowledge manifested revelation concerning brokenness or what’s commonly known as crisis and hardship. It’s a fact that we have a choice, every day, to choose life or death. Indeed, as incredible as it seems, we do have the power to determine if our lives will be left broken or be used even while empty and repaired to a more stronger…beautiful state. Choose brilliance. If you look deeply within and at your circumstance, there is always a road, a way to a better place. Yes, it’s less travelled and the transition is risky and rough. But the reward is worth it. Don’t discredit your pain as worthless, nor your failure as fatal. Transformation is available to us all, if we choose it. We become more valuable because of it, like pure gold.
Following are 10 lessons I have embraced during the dark moments; they have been pillars of fortitude during my transition from transformation to transcending!

10 Lessons Learned While Broken: The Path to Brilliance
1. Trust the process.
2. Forgive yourself.
3. Rely on faith.
4. Accept grace.
5. Be content with the consequences.
6. Be grateful for the options.
7. Remain hopeful.
8. Stay positive.
9. Smile.
10. Love more.


Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Final Call

Tips From Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries 


So, here we are... Day 7... The Final Call!  I have shared with you for seven days, one participant called it an "outpouring". Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries© is an outpouring, over 43 years poured into 40 hours of what I call a writing campaign for change!   

I wanted to finish this week in a more personally note, so I created a v blog to give a quick recap of the the take-a-ways for the week; encouragement to maintain the transformation, and finally, a call to action. 
So on Day One we faced it, then turned. We learned that transformation is not easy, especially when facing past disappointments. Yet, we admit the mistakes, not become the mistakes, and leave the past in the past. Allow the brokenness to heal by being filled with purpose. Day Two, we realized there is an emptiness after cleansing our minds and heart, so we stand still until our purpose and passions are discovered. On Day 3, I shared my personal testimony from a transparent heart to describe a model of victory, demonstrating the lessons from day 1 and day 2 are possible to achieve. And charged you to create a personal mantra or a manifesto for your life. Now, on Day Four, the hard work began. I outlined, in detail, steps to put your life's dream in motion. Goal by goal, day by day. Day Five, my favorite tip, make the shift, is the point the motivation comes from to fuel you to fulfill your dreams, change your mind set, shift the cant's to can and the excuses to excellence. Then on Day Six, we learned the fundamental factor to maintaining the transformation through building positive and productive relationships with a diverse group. Now, today, the pivotal moment... The true beginning, not end, because today is the day I give us a call to action:

Today, I say walk into your transformation, transcend above your boundaries and Live Your Paradigm, an authenticity life that only God gave you to live in order to gift the world.

Now, if you listened to the Final Call video or are reading this, obviously you are getting something from it. If you read one or two days of the tips, I guarantee you thought about one thing you can reflect upon, and if you have read the entire series, the seven days, I pray you have made the decision to transform your life. 
I need your push. Kindly make a donation in the amount that reflects the value added to you. 
Your gift will help me to continue to develop this series and use it in many positive ways. Coaches can confirm, presenting this in a finished package with worksheets can easily increase the value up to $500 or more. But you're getting the pure preview, and your generosity will help produce the polished product.
Wow, you will plant into a perpetual transformation, now that's how to LIVE YOUR PARADIGM! 
Thank you for the support, and if you cant or wont give monetarily  I value your positive prayers and your shares of these posts!. SHALOM. And until next time, MAKE THE SHIFT.

Have you benefited from Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries©? Please show your support, click on the drop-down menu under Value Added to select amount and then click PAY NOW.
 If you need additional support for the following resources: Creating A Model of Victory or Life Strategy
 or for transformation coaching, please contact me. 
Thank you.

From project "7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation!" ©  

T. Nichole Faulkner Paradigm Coaching and Consulting ™ 336.508.6416 vm

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

What’s the Fundamental Factor?

Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries ©

You've done your assignments. You know your purpose. You believe in your abilities, and understand the motivation for transcending your personal boundaries. Even so, you may feel that your self-development has plateaued ... you're stuck at the question, “Now What?”  Many times, after learning new things you may still simply feel a sense of discontent—that no matter how much you prepare, your return for investing your time isn’t leveling up. There is a fundamental factor that will cause you to be fruitful in all areas of your life:  Building Relationships.

On Day Six, I recommend seven great ideas for setting in motion your transformation:

1.   Turn Off the Television and Pick Up the Phone
The next time you get ready to pick up the remote, I want you to stop—turn off the television—and pick up the telephone. Instead of posting updates about every scene of the movie you’re watching or about the foolishness on the reality show, pick up the phone and call your next potential  business partner, employee, board member, benefactor,  best friend,  potential husband or wife. It is more rewarding and has lasting positive effects on your life than watching the Idiot Box.

2.   Join a New Networking Group
Running out of opportunities, social activities, or new people to talk with about your dream, your product or service, or organization? Join a new networking group, but one that is not online.  It could be a local chamber of commerce, sorority or fraternity, the Kiwanis club, your college alumni group, a national association, a business or church group. ... Whatever it is, join now and start going to meetings, and seminars to connect with a more diverse group. You just might meet your future spouse.

3.   Jump on Social Networks with a Transformed Life
Now, I didn’t say jump on the computer to send an email, which is the new snail mail. To cultivate quality and professional relationships use that Twitter account, LinkedIn group, or Facebook professional page with a renewed vigor. Create a productive exchange with thought leaders, innovators, pastors, politicians, professors, and plain ole good folk, but new folk. I know at first, when you started the accounts, you had the best of intentions, but as time went on, your interest may have waned, you got sucked in the drama, or simply stopped participating in a productive way. Now is the time to reconnect! Your children may not like it, but keep a watchful eye on the youth.

4.   Listen to the Tried and True
When the last time you asked for —and listened to—in person, new ideas and honest critique from those you trust?  Not those ‘yes people’ you hang with. They have good intentions because they want you to be happy but at the cost not being challenged.  Who in your circle has godly wisdom? Ask: What should I try differently? Who should I talk to that I hadn't?  Ask them for referrals, prayer or simply their presence. But before he or she leaves, please ask, “What can I do for you?”

5.   Take Your Five Least Favorite Friends Out to Lunch
Everyone takes their best friends or buddies out to lunches—and you should, too—but have you thought about taking your five least favorite friends out to lunch? Remembering we are #MakingTheShift. You know that friend who calls or text you two or three times a day about nothing but is an excellent networker with a lot of connections. Or the friend who brags about his team just a little too much, in season and out of season, but is a successful Christian entrepreneur. Or the friend who is always complaining about something but is a social media guru with knowledge. Call 'em up, take 'em out to lunch, and see what motivates them on a professional level.  Maybe they could offer more than expected? Maybe they will just be shocked that you called! End result = new ideas and deeper connection. They’re your friends after all!

6.   Present One New Initiative
Step outside the box to launch a new initiative. Do a new thing!  How many ways have you shown your spouses’ appreciation? Tell them in a just because, hand-written letter!  Don't know about any new networking groups? Get an inter-faith group started! Men, start a Male Mentor Program! Talked about taking a Spanish course, but never looked into it? Now is the time to do it!

7.   Volunteer

Nothing is more revitalizing, or leads to more insights, then spending a day serving. Support a fundraising for a school; spend a day helping tutor kid; coach a youth sport; serve meals and cleaning up at a homeless shelter. Get reconnected with the mission of the church and get renewed.

Building productive and purposefully relationships is the fundamental factor in experiencing success in all areas of your life. Start building today.

Mission: To expand options for economical disadvantaged people to live in dignity and autonomy by providing professional networking and mentoring, financial literacy, self-development workshops, continued education support, and entrepreneurial opportunities.
If you want to volunteer for this organization, please complete the Contact Form. 

Have you benefited from Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries©? Please show your support by making a donation at the level of value added to you. Click the PAY NOW button.
 If you are need additional support through thought transformation coaching, contact me. Thank you.

From presentation "7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation!" ©  

T. Nichole Faulkner Paradigm Coaching and Consulting ™ 336.508.6416 vm

Monday, July 29, 2013

Make The Shift!

Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries ©

Audio: Manifestation of a Revolution  (right click link to download audio rendition, must be able to open .wav file)

Manifestation of a Revolution

Stretch like a toy slinky that gallops forward
Allow the hunger to leap motivation into action
The truth vein burst
No longer protects whitewash
Mediocrity is exposed

Dazzle the naysayers until they say mercy
Excellence is a common filament in struggle
Hidden in a pigeonhole
Theft of a legacy
Kill the mole

Life sustaining wisdom compels the soul to circle children
Lifts up a humankind until it shatters the glass ceiling
Mysteries of the age of tribulation unfold when prejudice dies
Lies lose their power to a pure mind
Postpone defeat until never

While the world awaits the descend of your victory
Manifestation of a revolution claws through the dirt

- T. Nichole Faulkner, circa 2006

Paradigm Shift is not a new concept; coined by Thomas Kuhn, a scientist, in the 1960's. In the personal coaching field it takes on a powerful meaning, a change in the basic assumptions. Since the 1960's, the term has also been used in numerous non-scientific contexts to describe a profound change in a fundamental model or perception of eventsDay Five of 7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation!© focuses on examining your self-fortitude. Do you have what it takes to make the shift? It takes courage to face your past to move forward. It takes bravery to stand still while changes are happening around you. It takes audacity to reflect on your past to create A Model of Victory© for your future; additionally, it takes resolution to develop a life strategy for your life goals, yet where is a will there is a way. So, making the shift is possible! The Tips from Testimony from Day One through Day Four address those concepts to launch the transformation. Now, on Day Five, let me ask the question again: Do you have the self-fortitude to make the shift?

The goal of the projects that Paradigm Shift Coaching and Consulting produce is to support people to do something similar to what Thomas Kuhn wanted to happen among scientist in the 1960’s, to make a profound change in the fundamental perception of ideas and behaviors. It’s hard for some people to change an idea about where to eat every Friday; in some cultures someone decided that Friday was the day to eat fried fish, and so be it. Someone decided that Saturday was the day to clean the house and car or go to the market or to shop, and so be it. Someone decided that Monday through Friday are business days and the weekend are days of rest or recreation and worship, and so be it. Today, regardless of why these attitudes and behaviors developed, they are manifested perceptions that structure most lives in the USA. These behaviors aren't necessarily detrimental; nevertheless, they offer descriptions of how, over many years, through a necessity for some other time, place, or person- an ideal, an attitude, a behavior manifested from a fundamental perception for most people in a country among different cultures. Consequentially, it will be a struggle to try to change the basic structure of these activities and the mind-sets of those who believe the structure can't change.

Another example, Jesus taught the gospel by going among the people, going city to city. Now, the most teachers and preachers of the gospel construct buildings, churches, and the people, the congregates, come to the building. What if people stopped going to a building, a church, once or twice a week to hear the teachings of Jesus and "church" become an everyday event, a home-school idea, a lifestyle, like eating lunch each day. The head of household, whomever that may be, taught the Word of God, and collected the tithe and offerings and pool it with the families in their neighborhood to meet their needs? Picture that. A paradigm shift would have to take place for that idea, that attitude, and behavior about the church structure to change…to shift. The people, the believers, who started this powerful shift movement, would need tremendous self-fortitude to champion that feat! Yet, supernatural and extraordinary things happen when you make the shift, a big leap.

Now, let’s get back to the question: Do you have what it takes to make the shift? This post began with a written piece I wrote in 2006. It reflects a type of struggle. It echoes a type of oppression; or does it reproduces a type of civil distress, or personal journey, or a people's plight? That’s the beauty of poems, the reader gets to determine the meaning at the precise moment the poem is read. To bring an understanding for the purpose of this post, the Tips from Testimony will be an analysis of the poem. To build self-fortitude:

A.     Strengthen your mental perception. People perish due to the lack of knowledge. Challenge your traditional ideas by learning about another culture or nationality; learn a new language, study religion, or listen to a different genre of music. And when you do it, do it in a disciplined, yet with an open-mind, and an excellent manner.

B.     Strengthen your emotional perception. In all your getting get understanding. Understand others will not understand your shift and may decide not to have anything to do with it or you. However, stretch your heart’s capacity by forgiving those who have hurt you in any way. Challenge yourself to learn from the pain and injustices to ensure the harmful behavior doesn't happen again, and don’t allow failure or loss bring you to a feeling of shame. But just in case you’re hurt again, forgive again, starting with self.

C.     Strengthen your spiritual perception. There is no wisdom without love. God is love. How will you learn if you do not hear, read, and believe the change is real? Wise people love everything and everyone. Wise people understand love covers a lot of mistakes. Love lift burdens. Love teaches. Love elevate a people. Love allows you to move to the next level when others do not. Love motivates change, a marvelous change. 

Finally, trust the process. Incorporating these powerful tips in your life, even when victory doesn't appear near and opposition doesn't hear the sound of reason. You have the self-fortitude to change any basic assumptions that you have created or anyone else has created for your life, if you start now. Join me in the shift, the transformation. Join the #MakeTheShiftMovement.

-----> Have you benefited from Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries©? Will you please show your support today by making a donation? Donate at the level of value added to you. Click the drop-down arrow and PAY NOW button. If you are interested in creating your model of victory or life strategy, contact me. Thank you.

From presentation "7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation!" ©  
T. Nichole Faulkner Paradigm Coaching and Consulting ™ 336.508.6416 vm

Sunday, July 28, 2013

What's Your Life Strategy?

Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries ©

Revelation. Victory. Success. Conquer. Leadership. Strength. Faith.

These words are powerful and inspiring. But words alone don't create the characteristic desired. Words must lead to action. Day Four of 7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation!© focuses on Life Strategies. After facing your fears, being still, and creating A Model of Victory™, you must develop an action plan to design the transformation you want to see.

“Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.” - Sun Tzu, Chinese Military General, Author of The Art of War 

What is strategy?
1. planning in any field: a carefully devised plan of action to achieve a goal
2. planning of war: the science or art of planning and conducting a war
3. adaptation important to evolutionary success: adaptation that improves viability

What is tactic? 
tactic: 1. means to a goal: a method used or a course of action followed in order to achieve a goal

I wish it was as easy as saying I want to become a doctor, then going to a hospital expecting someone to show you how to become one, or being promoted to director within the first year of your career, or becoming an best-selling author after just picking up a pen and being published immediately, or an entrepreneur making a quick million with your first idea. The world have a few phenoms from time to time, and God is able to change your life in a day; however, for the most part, every successful person "did something" and "said something" to get to a place and a position of expertise, prominence, and accolade. There is a price to pay for transformation. The price is time, money, talent, people, and dedication. Answer these questions? What are you doing to get to the place of promise? What are you saying that garners the support for the process? Whether its losing money or time or people, the value added at the end outweighs what you may lose.

Did you know creating the life you want is the art of war? Yes, once you're determined to pursue a life of abundance, the life you desire... your creative, thought-provoking dream conflicts with your inner and outer critics and present situation. Nevertheless,  a tested strategy and proven tactics will enable you to achieve your goals to fulfill your dream. Above I gave you the terminology, now, I will outline succinct and practical steps, utilizing a personal example, to help you develop a life strategy to continue your journey to transformation.

                       Five Steps to Create A Life Strategy©
This process will define or refine and focus your beliefs, values, life vision, and personal mission to develop practical goals and tactics to create an implementable strategic life plan.

Step 1: Clarify what you believe. You cannot have a clear vision until your personal belief is clear. Belief statements don’t have to pass someones test of truth; it is your strong conviction that makes it true.
An example: I believe no one should suffer from poverty

Step 2: Envision what you believe. Vision become reality because of what you believe or value. Vision creates pictures in your mind of what could be. Now, that you have clarified what you believe, what life vision do you have? Here’s the thing about a vision. It should be big and inspiring. It may be fluid, unlike a belief, your vision may change. What you envision today, may change in 5 or 10 years because of what you experience, but your belief will not change.
An example of a personal vision because of the belief/value: I envision everyone living in poverty getting a livable wage job or attend school.

Step 3: Develop a personal mission statement. A mission statement is an expression of what you will do because of what you envision. Personal Mission statements made without reference to a compelling vision have no moral authority. A personal mission is something that can be accomplished. It is your bundle of goals that need to be unbundled, if I will, into tactics.
An example of a personal mission because of the life vision: offer self-development workshops, mentoring, and networking opportunities to low income adults to increase the chances of getting a livable wage job or attend school.

Step 4: Establish Goals: This is where your life strategy takes shape. It is how you will accomplish your personal mission. Use the S.M.A.R.T methodology to develop your goals. Is it specific, measurableachievable, realistic, and timely?

Goal 1: Awareness: I will develop print and electronic media awareness tools to educate communities about resources to help relieve the suffering of being impoverished. 
Owner: Malcolm 
Deadline: February 2014.

Goal 2: Fundraising: I will engage in three fundraising activities (car wash  hot dog sale, women's conference) to help with the awareness materials. Fundraising goal: $5,000.00 
Owner: Moiah 
Deadline: January 2014. 

Step 5: Outline Tactics: Define the who, what, when and where for your goals.
This is a different analogy from the one in steps 1-4, yet it's a simple format you can use for all the steps:

  • I believe no one should suffer from hunger
  • I envision a world where all people eat three balanced meals a day
  • My mission is to grow community gardens where low income families can have a reliable and consistent source of fruit and vegetables they can get at a reduced cost or for free
  • Goal 1: Create flyers, brochures, media kit.
  • Tactics: 1: Contract designer and public relations representative.(List all tactics to achieve Goal 1)
  • Owner(s):
  • Deadline:
  • Budget:

Developing your life strategy is key to living a transformed life. It is the GPS when distractions, roadblocks, and detours come your way. Designing a life is more important than planning to get a job, social activities, weekly menus, or weekend wardrobe. To transcend your personal boundaries, you must settle your thoughts about how you will do it. I have offered a tool, a weapon. Now you must pick it up, use it to paint a beautiful picture of your life or those who look at this as war, use it to slay the naysayers; either way, use it to transform your life!

-----> Have you benefited from Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries ©? 
Will you please show your support today by making a donation? 
Donate at the level of value added to your life. Click the PAY NOW button at the top of the page. 
Contact me if you want to create your model of victory or life strategy. Thank you.

From presentation "7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation!" ©  
T. Nichole Faulkner Paradigm Coaching and Consulting ™336.508.6416 vm

Saturday, July 27, 2013

A Model of Victory™

Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries ©

It can be debated when and why in which transformation takes place; on the other hand, the how has been proven, time and time again. It is the sheer will to change. Change can happen through deliberate choice or life's force; regardless, you can embrace and become empowered by change if you accept it as a charge to better your life and in doing so, you can create a beautiful transformation story of victory. If I have to describe my personal story and the concept of  A Model of Victory™ in three words, I would say: 

1. perseverance 2. prayer  3. praise. 

A Model of Victory™ is different for each person. Each person has an unique journey. What one has to deal with takes on many shapes of struggles and triumphs. Some stories involve living in a beautiful home, with wonderful parents, going to the best schools and getting the dream spouse and career, which make sheer will a little easier to cultivate because the support systems have been faithful and fruitful. However, some stories involve cases where the support systems weren't as reliable and ready to help. Issues with low self-esteem, physical  mental, sexual, or substance abuse, living in poverty, being fatherless or motherless, being bullied create the infamous feeling of "not enough"- not good enough, not holy enough, not pretty or handsome enough, not smart enough, not popular enough, and unfortunately, many more self-sabotaging labels some have allow to be hung around their necks! Contrary to these destructive mind-battles, sheer will is still present, it may be as small as a mustard seed:

"Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working." That's perseverance.
“For no prayer's unanswered and no prayer unheard." That's prayer.
“Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it.” That's praise.

A Model of Victory™ is your story, your family's story, your history or her-story, a personal testimony of transformation. My model of victory is threaded with forms of perseverance, prayer, and praise (View Go Higher video below). I'm sure, your story is threaded forms with victory. Day Three of 7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation! focuses on One Woman's Testimony of Transformation: A Model of Victory™

Being willing to serve others, full-time, is not the ideal career for someone in a materialistic  and capitalist society where CEO's are the rock stars. Yet, service is the highest form of leadership. Service is a valuable gift, talent, skill. Whether it is being introduced to helping others early in life by being a scout, or being a part of a youth club at church or school, or participating in children  programs at the local Y; serving is a choice. Moreover, some people served later in life through service learning programs in college or as a volunteer for a charity; serving is an obligation. Serving is being a loving parent, husband or wife, or grandparent; serving is an appointment.  Finally, service can be a career or life calling (anointing). I believe its my calling and my career. My goal of being a servant leader was cultivated through serving others, even in poverty, adversity and doubt. Honestly, at this moment I'm struggling financially, again. My choices have cause me to stretch myself. My daughter is in her last year of private college, my growing son actively participates in expensive athletic programs, and uncertainty looms among aging family and friends. So why write and talk about serving others when one have struggles to overcome? "They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony."  Remember Day One's lesson asserted that you must face it, then turn to your future. Day Two's lesson asserts standing still in a time of trial is a moment of empowerment. And on Day Three, I assert you must word and work your model of victory to transform! Attaining your goals and achieving success can come in many ways. My model is not the model society will describe as victorious, But God. Don't let other's tell your story. Let me describe the backdrop of my journey, facing dream killers and killing them before they killed me; it begins with this quote: "It always seems impossible until it's done.” ― Nelson Mandela

The journey begins
After 24 years of marriage, my parents decided to divorce; I was a young; neither of my parents attended college; my mother was a housewife; consequently, my new home was in a hot housing authority apartment - the projects- it included three siblings, headed by a single-mother faced with the realities of poverty. I endured the most humiliating experiences: homelessness, hunger and molestation. I witnessed hate crimes, violence, and community neglect. Nevertheless, through watching her at the good and bad times, the best of my mother provided everything she could and the worst of my mother still provided us, The Faulkner's, A Model of Victory™
  • Faithfulness and excellence in the small things; 
  • Love, respect, and dignity for family and neighbors; 
  • Compassionate service and sacrifice will produce favor.
Despite the odds and the naysayers, I persevered through obstacles and did not succumb to the lethal force from a degrading and impoverished environment. Hope of a better life nurtured a focused motivation to rise above the poverty of my mind and my wallet. It was not easy. I am 43 years old, and it is still not easy. I have learned that poverty of the mind and wallet aren't the only enemies; a deprived heart and weak flesh are powerful adversaries. My life is not a Cinderella story- a Black woman; an unwed single mother of two children with different fathers, for most of my life living in subsidized housing and in poverty, or one paycheck from it ... just like the situation I grew up in. It seems I would have fallen to a doomed legacy, one that poverty and a self-righteous society bind to" impoverished, heathen, colored people". Living the “American Dream" seemed far for me to reach; nevertheless, I always believed victory was mine because my dream was only for me to have and only for me to destroy. 

The journey continues
I began to achieve the dream by turning my back to my past, and turning off the noise of the dream killers. I started planning my future in a standing but still place. I left my family and friends in 2003, moved to a new city to pursue education and service, and little did I know, to discover my passion and purpose. I left "corporate" and accepted a vocation in Nonprofit and Human and Community Services, a career that provides the culture of service but not necessarily fast monetary wealth, nevertheless, it is a respectable discipline that value positive changes within people, the community, and the world. While studying this discipline, I was afforded the opportunity to change my life in a purposeful manner and produced better options for me and my children while supporting others doing the same. Today, parts of my dream have yet to come reality. Still, I rise.

Persevering in the journey
God changed my journey. Commonly, first generational college students do not have the cultural, human, and cash capital to attain quality higher education. But nothing about you and me is common. Additionally, to successfully address and provide the needs of a community, one must be an innovator and a life-long learner. Within 11 years, after being laid off from a financial services company, then a supply-chain management company, I thought it was time for a change; the dream was not coming fast enough. Although this time, the change would be one I had control over, or I thought- a positive, calculated, and empowering change. I moved to Charlotte, enrolled in Central Piedmont Community College (CPCC), my son in kindergarten, and my daughter in middle school. I worked two jobs, one in a women's work-release prison, every weekend, and between classes, I tutored first-generation college students in developmental Reading and Writing and facilitated study skills classes whiling serving as President of the Human Services Club where I stressed the importance of being a life-long learner and an agent of change within the community. I completed an A.A.S with a program 3.95 GPA and as the Human Services Student of the Year. Nevertheless, the journey continued. My dream included attaining a B.A. at a quality private college, with honors, serving my fellow students and attending national conferences, just as I did at CPCC. Attaining funding to continue my education was vital. I discovered taking the initiative, motivating and advocating for myself and others usher in the blessing. Just like my mother modeled. And so, through service and the generosity of others, I was awarded several scholarships, attended Queens University of Charlotte, a quality, private college. The tuition each year was more than my annual income! Many dream killers told me that I could not afford to continue in college; it was a luxury and too much of a sacrifice. Nevertheless, I believed that I could not afford not to. My children were witnessing their mother pursuing her dreams, persevering through obstacles to fulfill a mission of becoming a servant leader. Most importantly, witnessing the power of prayer. I completed a B.A. and graduated magna cum laude. At that moment, I had become a "qualified" servant leader, yet my dream was unfulfilled. 

Praying in the journey
I wanted to be married. I did not want to live at the brink of poverty anymore, working two jobs. I had grown weary in well doing. So, I moved to New York, with a promising man, believing this was the fulfillment of the dream, but here is the catch: Even though the dream is yours, you are not the Dream Master. Either you stay on the appointed path or your dream will become distorted. This is when I learned there is a poverty of the heart and body. H.A.L.T! when you're hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. But God, the Dream Master, delays with a purpose in mind and doesn't deny a repentant heart. I returned home, to Greensboro, NC, to learn best practices to proficiently execute my career goals, to serve in an excellent manner, and to taste humble pie. Norcross Graduate School at High Point University was the next stop. You see, Being talented was my plan, being transformed is the Dream Master's plan. 

Praising in the journey
In short, with amazing grace, while being unemployed, I completed a M.A. and more miraculous, my son entered middle school, my daughter graduated high school and was accepted into college at my alma mater, Queens! The first-generation doomed, prescribed cycle... broken, thus, even closer to a dream fulfilled, an excepted end. I can continue to give examples of the wonderful things that happened in my life while in the valleys, that are happening now, in the valley; however, I think you get the message. And stay tuned, I believe my journey doesn't end here. But just in case I didn't make it clear: God is the Dream Master who plants the dream and will give you a Dream Midwife or Dream Cultivators. I will end this written testimony in a way to honor my mother, a Dream Midwife. The Tips from Testimony is A Model of Victory™ I created for me and my family, the Faulkner's living legacy. I highly recommend you to create one. And I can serve you by helping you do that and walk with you in your journey, being your Dream Cultivator.

 Faulkner's Model of Victory™ 
●       Supporting, encouraging, and empowering others will enrich your life,
●       Perseverance and positive attitude leads to victory,
●       Unconditional love motivates others to change for the better,
●       Education is a trustworthy liberator,
●       Each person should live a life of dignity and autonomy,
●       God is in control of all things, and
●       Laughter is contagious.

Make The Shift Movement VBlog: CLICK TO WATCH! ------> Go Higher 

-----> Have you benefited from Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries ©? Will you please show your support today by making a donation to sow into my dream? Donate at the level of value added to your life (drop down button). Click the PAY NOW button. If you are interested in creating your model of victory, contact me. Thank you.

From presentation "7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation!" ©  
T. Nichole Faulkner Paradigm Coaching and Consulting ™ 336.508.6416 voicemail 

Friday, July 26, 2013

Standing Still is Better Than Running To No Where

Tips from Testimony: Transcend Your Personal Boundaries ©

Life has a way of slowing us down, humbling us. Through unemployment, illness, lost, lack, misunderstandings, and ill-will, we are halted. Day Two of 7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation! focuses on building momentum where you stand not where you are running. Finding your way, the true north, is at the point of ponder (View I Dare You to Dance video below).

After admitting past mistakes and resolving the issues that hindered you and held you in a false sense of progression, as a forgiven empty vessel, moving is the next step, yet movement must be intentional- forward progress. The word progress is provocative. Progress provides an image of an exciting image of success and notoriety. Moving forward is liberating, however, running without knowing where you're going, without godly perspective and honest reflection, is moving in the wrong direction... laterally or backward, is a purposeless path to nowhere.

Don't be in a hurry to go where your designed destiny is not waiting. Destiny is a place for the head, heart, and hands to lead you to. Your place of despair is one stop on your path to destiny. When you’re still, you can see the opportunities within obstacles. After the halt from life, the struggles, heartbreaks, disappointments, and betrayal, your broken heart can mend your mind to move your hands with purpose and in peace.  After facing the past, then turning to your future, you must accept yourself as a unique, worthy, insightful, and beautiful spirit. You maybe scarred; nevertheless,you are capable living a life of dignity and autonomy, a fulfilled life. And you deserve too.

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” - George Bernard Shaw, 1925 Nobel Prize for Literature

Planning and preparing for the future that you desire are wise methods to implement after you have determined your life's goals. On the other hand, the perspective George Shaw shares, and the one I will take the liberty to expand upon, challenges you not to prescribe to just the "American Dream" formula, but to develop your own life’s strategies based on your unique skills, gifts, and talents; Standing still allows you to discover these endowed treasures. Stop looking at what everyone is doing in the world; look at what you can do in the world. Answer these questions: 
What would you do if you couldn't fail? 
What do you enjoy doing and  have been doing it for free? 
Do people always ask you to do a certain favor because they say you can do it the best? 
What dream do you have that others have declared impossible? 
Reasonable men often get in their own way to their designed destinies because they are intimating the destinies of others to achieve success. Alone or with many like-minded people, standing still in quiet confidence is always better than running aimlessly. Stand in your dream until you are prepared to move forward; the dream may be deferred but it’s not denied. The following Tips from Testimony are personal mantras you may use while standing still.

Tips from Testimony:   
1. Silence the critics, starting with the critic within.
2. Discover your purpose.  
3. Unlearn and re-learn.   
4. Pursue your passion and profit will pursue you.           
5. Don't be afraid to go alone.
6. God rewards the diligent.
7. Failure is a lesson learned to help you in your future.

Make The Shift Movement VBlog: CLICK TO WATCH!> I Dare You To Dance!

-----> Have you benefited from this blog? Please show your support by making a donation. Donate at the level of value added to your life by clicking the drop down menu, then click the PAY NOW button. If you are interested in creating your model of victory, or personal coaching, kindly contact me. Thank you.

From presentation "7 Days of Preparation: Launch the Transformation!" ©  
T. Nichole Faulkner Paradigm Coaching and Consulting ™ 336.508.6416 voicemail